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Review for Phat Booty Hoes

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Rating: 79/100
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There’s not much bad I can say about a phat booty site. It’s all about the big round brown and when they do what you love it’s hard to see any faults. This is another OCXXX site of what I call the “Booty” ring. Somewhere around a dozen sites, attempting to cater to the appetites of the phat booty lover. And for the most part they succeed. Phat Booty Hoes is the simplest of the group, just focusing on the Hoe and her Phat Booty. The video clips are loosely based around the crew of “Phat Apple Bottom Booty’s,” and different girls trying to be involved with #3 or #4. Most the sites in this ring are all follow the same motif. The clips are from a certain DVD from the “Evasive Angels” line and broken down into viewable web-chunks and categorized to fit into specific site themes. But you don’t care how it’s categorized, you care about the booty.

The booty is as the booty does. Thus is the case with most booty. They do in fact find girls with big round booty’s and then they fuck them. The girls do in fact squirm and dance about and moan and act like total sluts with dicks in them. It’s the getting there that’s the problem. Phat Booty hoes isn’t as effective as some of the other sites on the ring. The group isn’t as good at setting up with out the viewer getting bored. As with most undirected porn these days, the site is attempting a sense of realism. It is all actor driven and therefore depends on the actors creativity to keep the site going. You would think this would not be a problem with a site about the size and shape of booty, but alas. The set the scene; the girl comes in; they ogle her, they feel; her up; and the whole time you’re looking at her pussy/lips/booty and think “Stick a dick in it! Stick a dick in it!”… And then… just when you thought they were going to fuck her… they bust into a bad rap video. That’s right all of sudden they ask the girl if she can dance, a very very lame beat gets kicked and the head guy (Baby S or some nonsense like that) begins to flow; very very poorly. Why Why? Why must you bust into bad rap video? Why? Just show the girl, smack her ass and get to the fucking. At least the girls dance naked throughout the video… just like on TV. The sad part is these videos would fly as actual rap videos. Oh Sisko, where’s the thong song when we need it most.

After the assaulting of poorly timed hip-hop you pretty much get what you expected. Don’t get me wrong I love big round booty’s and I love them even more when they dance and shake about; but when reaches the point where it stops being about the booty and starts being about somebody’s failed music career… that’s when I turn off. Sit down Baby S; Jay-Z you ain’t. But naturally you can skip around the phat rhymes and get straight to the phat booty. But that’s not as easy as it sound either. Normally navigation would not be a problem with a site like this. Each girl has a head shot by her video links (naturally with a dick in her face). So just scroll down and pick your cocksucker. But since each individual link doesn’t have a thumbnail, you can never tell which one to click on so you can skip over the damned rap video. Usually by about the third video clip, they’ll be done with the song and dance and on to the fucking. You would think that with all the guys who were standing around at the beginning, the girl would then be eventually fucked by more than one guy, but nooo, that would make too much sense. The pictures also present a problem because usually they give you a head shot (or cum shot as the case may be) and not a picture of the body or booty, which is why you’re here in the first place. Some of the thumbnails don’t even show the featured girl, they just show two guys looking at the girl who’s off camera somewhere where you can’t even see her. I don’t even know what that’s about. No if you want to see the girl before you download the clip you have to go to the surprisingly neatly organized picture set, complete with imbedded viewer. And you may as well go there anyway since it will take over a minute for the clip to download. Two years ago, that would’ve been fast, but today it’s dirt slow. And speaking of that many of the videos without rap sequences have horrible sound, the set video clip size and the average filming can be excused, but you have to hear her moan, it’s not the same otherwise. However most of the clips do have at least marginally acceptable sound because you have to hear the bad rap lyrics. Occasionally Baby S is funny. The Christmas tree scene where he runs out to the naked girls under the tree and says “Santa brought me some Bitches,” is funny. But beyond that it’s fairly ignorable.

The other sites on the ring are effectively better than phat booty hoes. Because the guys just grab random clips from their past videos to the site, very little effort is involved in Phat Booty Hoes, since any clip with a black girl getting fucked qualifies. The other sites that are more specific are miles better. Bubble Butt Orgy, Kung Pao Pussy, Black Dicks Latin chicks, Phat White Booty, and Brazil Bang, are all much better than this one. (The last two come highly recommended.) And they all come with the subscription and follow the same format. Unfortunately all 16 sites suffer the same flaw. They are updated about every month. It may say ‘this week’s video’ but it’ll be sitting there for a month or more. It doesn’t take that much work to load a clip onto the site, so that means they don’t have to do it as much, makes perfect sense. The links at the top are all external links for sites you’ve heard of. There’s a webcam link, a video on demand link, a toy store link etc. At the bottom of the site there are links into the ever popular OCXXX reality ring. If you don’t know what I’m talking about ask somebody, this is good shit. They don’t have any of the great ones, but check out first time teacher if you can find it.

But I digress. This is phat booty hoes, and there are some nice phat booty hoes here. I may complain, but I’ll still be here. Check out Cherokee, she definitely has the phattest ass of the girls. And the young and horny Toi, who claims to be everybody’s plaything, is a shameless little slut who wants fucking more than the guys. Like I said its actor driven so whenever you see a creative actor, (like Lexi, the bi who finds the girls) then video usually succeeds.



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